By: CECE RAZO
Columnist
Deep within the Ohio Valley, amidst the trees, leaves and greens, a beast awakens to the smell of a delicious meaty substance.
The smell dances around his snout and coerces this 900-pound monster out of his cave. One paw at a time, he leaves his home in search for the promise of a tasty, filling snack. “Sniff, Sniff” the scent draws him up a hill.
“Sniff, sniff” his heart begins to quicken and his mouth fills with water at the thought of that first lick, first taste, that first bite. Though the climb is not easy, he pushes through each rock, bush and tree in his way.
No mere mortal could get in the way of this bear and its future meal. Alas, after much effort, he arrives at the top of the hill. The forest is gone, though, and in its place lies concrete buildings towering high into the sky, acting as a faux mountain range.
The beast lingers for a moment taking it all in but the scent of meat lures him across the concrete mountain range. As the scent grows stronger, the beast’s stomach growls louder and louder.
Finally, when the scent could not get any stronger, the monster turns the corner to find a tall, green figure bent over a scolding fire. This figure has large, furry eyebrows, wears a green tailcoat, white fluffy collar, high tights and shoes with buckles.
Though at first glance not a very intimidating figure, its deep stare creates a sense of discomfort within the beast. The beast glances down at the figures hand to discover the source of the meaty scent: freshly fried schnitzel.
Both figures shift eyes from the schnitzel to each other and back to the schnitzel. As if an unspoken agreement was made, the bear lunges at the Baron while the Baron dodges the attack last minute and takes out his sword. A battle begins. The bear
growls. The Baron stares. Neither dares to make the first move but the smell of the schnitzel drives both to begin.
The Baron lunges at the bear but the bear swipes the sword straight out of his hands. Panicked and unarmed, the Baron decides the best course of action is to run.
He shoots out into a full-on sprint, hearing the paws of the bear close behind. Alas, a stick gets in the way and the Baron tumbles to the ground, covers his face, ready for the bear to end the battle. A pause.
No paws land on top. Instead, a sound of scarfing and chomping fills the silence. The Baron looks up to see the Bear eating his delicious fried meat. This concludes the first battle. Bear 1 Others 0.