By Anonymous Avila Socrates, eldest daughter of Franciscan University philosophy professor Thomas A. Socrates and newest intent to “Bilhah or Zilpah” household, stood dead still in the middle of theContinue Reading
Anonymous Satire On the cusp of graduating, a man lost his entire friend group after a slip of the tongue revealed his lack of strong feelings for J.R.R. Tolkien’s “TheContinue Reading
Anonymous Satire Students were shocked this week to see Franciscan University Student Government (FUSG) president Alex McKenna being led out of the J.C. Williams Center in handcuffs by members ofContinue Reading
Anonymous Satire In a continued effort to represent the different sects within the Catholic Church, chapel ministries has announced that this month they will be organizing a newly-structured Festival ofContinue Reading
Anonymous Satire Rising levels of frustration with pretentious pseudo-intellectual factions have driven a group of Franciscan students to create “The Caritas Society,” a guild which aims to bring the lightContinue Reading
Anonymous Satire I would warn anyone who is attempting to advance in the spiritual life to avoid making New Years’ resolutions. I’m telling you this for your own safety. HaveContinue Reading
Anonymous Satire People really like to complain about the dating culture here as if it’s a uniquely Franciscan problem. This whole discussion about what it means to be standoffish isContinue Reading
Anonymous Satire I feel that the flared-jean Frannies deserve a break from my flaming pen this week, so I’ve undertaken to create a comprehensive portrait of a more comedically neglectedContinue Reading
Anonymous Satire In a fresh and exciting attempt to accrue funds for the mysterious, weeks-long construction project that is causing mild cardiac distress in anyone who owns an on-campus vehicle,Continue Reading
Anonymous Satire In a document released this Thursday, Pope Francis declared that a Franciscan student had incurred excommunication “latae sententiae” for “gently heretical statements” made during spontaneous prayer with herContinue Reading