Winnie the Pooh said that “A friend is someone who helps you up when you’re down, and if they can’t, they lay down beside you and listen.” This goes hand in hand with the idea of a friend being there for you, always believing in you.

My best friend lives across the United States and I only get to see her about once a year. Yet we have been friends for about seven years. How? We’re always there for each other. It doesn’t matter that we have lived 900 miles away our whole friendship. My relationship with her is the same as my relationship with my best friend on campus. Both friends feel like my sisters.

It doesn’t matter how long a friendship has lasted or how close the friend lives to make the friendship a good one. A good friendship is rooted in love, virtue, and a shared pursuit of holiness.

Let us ponder the closest friends of Christ, the disciples. The disciples were those people who stayed with Jesus throughout all of his trials, even though at times they wavered in their dedication. His true friends always returned to Him. Yes, we too are Christ’s friends, but the disciples were His closest friends, and John the “one whom He loved”. Christ shows us first and foremost how to be a good friend. Yet, He also shows us that we do not have to be intimate friends with everyone.

Jesus, as God, is able to love everyone equally as if each person is His best friend. Yet, we are limited in our amount of love. Just as Christ had a closest friend, the one He loved most, and to whom He said “Son, behold your mother,” we also should have one or two closest friends. These are the ones who are most Christ-like and bring us closer to Him. They are virtuous and encourage virtue in us. Then there are also friends who are close but not astight knit as our best friends. These are the people like the disciples. They were present and intentional, loving sacrificially. Even though they sometimes stumbled, they were loyal and encouraged one another. Finally, of course, we are also called to love all and see Christ in them.

So, what should a best friend be and how can we be a best friend to them? Our best friends should be best friends with Christ. They should love with their whole being and give unreservedly. (This does not mean without prudence, however.) A good friend knows when to help correct you when you are going astray, and when to encourage you in right. A good friend knows when to just listen or be with you. But most of all, a good friend wants to lead you to Christ and help you on your way to Heaven.

As St. Francis de Sales wrote: “Love your neighbor, dear reader, with a great, charitable love, but befriend only those with whom you can be mutually supportive in virtue. The higher the virtues that you put into these relationships, the more perfect will your friendship be.”