ANONYMOUS
AN OBSERVANT SOCIALITE
Jesus Christ, Second Person of the Holy Trinity, true God and true man, Lord of the Universe, Savior of the world, etc., was seen crowd-surfing at the Eucharistic procession during Friday’s holy hour.
Visiting priest the Rev. Caleb Feldzar, who presided over the holy hour, said that his arms were getting tired from holding the monstrance during the procession when he felt the sacred vessel slipping out of his hands.
“I panicked at first of course,” said Feldzar. “I thought I was dropping the Blessed Sacrament. But it was a different sensation than dropping something, it was like he just floated out of my hands.”
Junior undeclared major Marcus Brady, the student who received the monstrance, reported a similar sensation as the monstrance passed from him to the student beside him.
“Something just came over me, I swear,” said Brady. “I had no idea what was happening; one minute I was holding the monstrance and the next it was just gone. It was like it jumped or something, stop asking me questions.”
This continued for the latter half of the holy hour before the monstrance made its way back to Feldzar’s arms for benediction. Shouts of praise erupted from the congregation as the monstrance travelled among them, comparable to a rock concert.
“Jesus was a guy who knew how to have fun,” said attendee and senior education major Edward “Ed” Gordon. “We tend to forget that a lot. It was pretty cool to see him showing himself that way.”
Freshman theology and catechetics major Caroline Poginy reported a “touching” encounter when the Eucharist came her way.
“I had just been praying with the Scripture passage about the hemorrhaging woman,” said Poginy. “I thought, like her, if I could just touch Jesus I could be healed of wounds from childhood. I didn’t get to touch the humeral veil, but I got to hold him up as he crowd-surfed! It was so humbling. And I feel a lot better now!”
Freshman business major Deryk Bradley also commented on the holy hour’s impact.
“This like, takes imitating Christ up to a whole new level,” said Bradley. “If Jesus crowd-surfed, so can I!”
When the author of this article asked Jesus Christ, Second Person of the Holy Trinity, true God and true man, Lord of the Universe, Savior of the world, etc., for a comment, the author received the Scripture passage of Jesus walking on the water. The author interprets this word from the Lord as a comparison to the sensation of crowd-surfing and that of walking on water, as well as a shout-out to the university’s theme for this school year, “Be Not Afraid,” from the same passage.