Anonymous Satire Column In an interview April 3, Franciscan University’s president announced plans to establish several new campuses across the globe as the next phase of a recent capital campaignContinue Reading
AN OBSERVANT SOCIALITE A group of freshmen in St. Elizabeth Hall are devastated this week after their friend with a car politely refused to give them a ride to Walmart, sayingContinue Reading
AN OBSERVANT SOCIALITE It began with the propaganda. The small paper signs depicting masculine, bearded faces appeared on the walls of the J.C. Williams Center, boldly announcing an upcoming weekContinue Reading
ANONYMOUS AN OBSERVANT SOCIALITE After nearly a month of break, students are expressing their joy as they return to an environment unclouded by the stain of moral depravity. “Four weeksContinue Reading
AN OBSERVANT SOCIALITE Students donned their top hats and twirled diamond-encrusted canes to embrace Franciscan University’s display of high-class affairs last week. Any observant socialites — like myself — certainly must have noticed that the weekContinue Reading
AN OBSERVANT SOCIALITE After a high-stakes game to secure a place in the regional championships, the Barons sportball team lost to the East-Western University Herons in their ninth game ofContinue Reading
AN OBSERVANT SOCIALITE The annual club fair hosts groups of every academic and social stripe imaginable, yet it always seems as though the same clubs receive immense attention every year while othersContinue Reading
ANONYMOUS AN OBSERVANT SOCIALITE The entirety of Franciscan University’s student body has expressed frustration for the past four years that the entire student body doesn’t know how to date. “TheContinue Reading
ANONYMOUS AN OBSERVANT SOCIALITE The soft serve ice cream machine on the first floor of Antonian Hall pleasantly surprised the student body and others on the evening of Friday, Jan.Continue Reading
ANONYMOUS AN OBSERVANT SOCIALITE The J.C. Williams Center atrium was packed last Friday for a celebration for one sinner who repented. The angels, in union with the communion of saints,Continue Reading